My friend feels lost. I think I was in her position a year back. I think I was in her position many times since 2007. Different circumstances but same situation. The feeling of being lost...not knowing where life is headed. Life always finds a way out, everyone knows that. But being in the situation is still miserable.
Sometimes we are responsible for our circumstances, sometimes not. In my case, the miscarriages were the beginning, forcing me to quit my job and lead a life, I didn't know how to. Depression accompanied with the constant treatments and drugs, all took its toll. Not to mention, the really unstable nature of our projects and the constant moving. And then life just turned around. I am happy now, back to where I belong...my life more fulfilled than ever. In my case, as with everyone what keeps us going is knowing that someone is rooting for us. Had it not been for my husband, I would have ended up a mess. The moving, the unstable nature of our projects, everything is still the same but I am at a better place.
In my friend's case, I'm not sure what the issue really is. Whatever it be, there comes a time when we realize this one life, is just mine. I am the only who who can and has to live it. No one else, in this case can do the job for us. Lost and alone, left to wonder if this was the life God meant for us to lead.
And this sense of being lost has stages. We try everything that comes our way. Talking to family and friends, ignoring the situation hoping it will go away, trying to cheer oneself up, reading up about others in similar situations, getting a hobby, job or anything that would distract and keep us busy, and sometimes deep soul searching. We wonder how can a series of choices, all of which seemed right at the time and taken with no ill intentions lead to a life so unrecognizable. How can a child that began with such promise, end up so lost?
We question, how much are we allowed to change? Rowing our boat involves what? Not knowing these answers, we still must row. In writing this I was reminded of John Milton's 'On his Blindness'. Milton always thought he was meant to do great things, and at the age of 40 he went blind without really having done much. And that's when he wrote 'On his Blindness' a sonnet that speaks of soul searching and being lost, but having an unshakeable faith.
Wondering about the way his life had been spent, he questions, "Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?" But patience he says calms the murmur and soon replies, 'They also serve who only stand and wait'. The faith that he displays is unnerving. True to his word, he went on to write his best work 'Paradise Lost' after he went blind.
They say God speaks in many ways and best through our hearts. Over the years we drown the voice of our hearts in listening to everyone else around us. Learning to listen to one's heart, and knowing that it is God's voice is a difficult process, but one that absolutely frees the mind and makes you fearless. One that lets you take on a challenge without worrying whether or not you will be up for the challenge, or caring what the society has to say about it, if and when you were to fall flat. You then take on jobs, no one thought you were capable of. You display the kind of courage that comes out of honesty and inspires others.
I wish her that faith. And the courage that comes with that faith.
In my friend's case, I'm not sure what the issue really is. Whatever it be, there comes a time when we realize this one life, is just mine. I am the only who who can and has to live it. No one else, in this case can do the job for us. Lost and alone, left to wonder if this was the life God meant for us to lead.
And this sense of being lost has stages. We try everything that comes our way. Talking to family and friends, ignoring the situation hoping it will go away, trying to cheer oneself up, reading up about others in similar situations, getting a hobby, job or anything that would distract and keep us busy, and sometimes deep soul searching. We wonder how can a series of choices, all of which seemed right at the time and taken with no ill intentions lead to a life so unrecognizable. How can a child that began with such promise, end up so lost?
We question, how much are we allowed to change? Rowing our boat involves what? Not knowing these answers, we still must row. In writing this I was reminded of John Milton's 'On his Blindness'. Milton always thought he was meant to do great things, and at the age of 40 he went blind without really having done much. And that's when he wrote 'On his Blindness' a sonnet that speaks of soul searching and being lost, but having an unshakeable faith.
Wondering about the way his life had been spent, he questions, "Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?" But patience he says calms the murmur and soon replies, 'They also serve who only stand and wait'. The faith that he displays is unnerving. True to his word, he went on to write his best work 'Paradise Lost' after he went blind.
They say God speaks in many ways and best through our hearts. Over the years we drown the voice of our hearts in listening to everyone else around us. Learning to listen to one's heart, and knowing that it is God's voice is a difficult process, but one that absolutely frees the mind and makes you fearless. One that lets you take on a challenge without worrying whether or not you will be up for the challenge, or caring what the society has to say about it, if and when you were to fall flat. You then take on jobs, no one thought you were capable of. You display the kind of courage that comes out of honesty and inspires others.
I wish her that faith. And the courage that comes with that faith.
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